I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
