I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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