that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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