i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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