I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
