and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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