nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
