its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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