There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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