Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
