I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus