The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
