I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind