Sponge bath it is.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
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Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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