I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
