Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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