i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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