Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
