he puts the penis in happiness.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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