It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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