Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
