P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
