I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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