My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
