A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
