Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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