I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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