Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
