Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize