I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my sisters under your porch take her home
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
