Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
