Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
