so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
