the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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