he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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