I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Randomize
