He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
