the condom got lost in my hair
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
