Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
