grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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