I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
