And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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