JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
be right there i have to get my cape
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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