Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
