oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
