i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
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That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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