he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
