So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
