Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.