just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter