Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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