we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
