yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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