belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
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Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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