Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
