Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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