What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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