A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
