almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize