3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
