using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
